The Kids

Not sure what to tell our kids (ages 7 and 9 - two of each), we elected to hold off for a bit. Perhaps that wasn't the best idea. I did talk a little to 7-year-old Morgan yesterday as we were walking up the street. I mentioned that I needed surgery to remove some tissue from my breast because, although it wasn't really cancer, they didn't want it to become cancer. I also explained radiation a little (a laser beam!). I also told her that she needed to take really good care of me afterwards, and of course she promised she would. I though the conversation went pretty well. Morgan is a tough one, because even now, she gets really upset about the passing of Lisa's mom, which happened almost 3 years ago. That is her only experience with cancer. Her n=1 ended in death.

Anyway, Lisa was on the phone with a friend last night and wasn't aware that Morgan was eavesdropping. I came home from my dinner to find Morgan playing by herself in her room, even though she and Claire had a friend over. She was really sad and started crying, so I carried her into my room and held her as we lay on my bed. I don't want you to die, Mommy! she cried. Who's going to read us stories before bed? And you make the best hamburgers! Good to know that one of her main memories of me are my hamburgers. They're not even that good! It's not like I'm Bobby Flay or anything. Although I do use this really good hamburger spice...

So I re-explained that I didn't really have cancer yet, or it was really early cancer and that with treatment I would be fine. She seemed ok after awhile. But then Jalen came in, having overheard part of our conversation. I think we need to sit all of the kids down and talk to them. Soon.