Appointment 7 - Breast MRI

Today was cold, windy, and rainy. A perfect day to drive 45 minutes to Abbott Northwestern Hospital for my breast MRI. I arrived at 8:35 for my 8:30 check-in (traffic) and waited for about 30 minutes before being called in. That place was busy! I swear there were at least 6 other patients in the waiting room at any given time. They must have at least 3-4 MRI and CT machines.

I was nervous about the IV catheter because historically people  have had trouble getting them into my crappy veins and the whole ordeal makes me want to throw up. However, this nurse was very good (in addition to being very nice and helpful) and it went pretty well. I had to lie on my stomach, with a nice foam cut-out for my breasts to hang through. I will say that this was the first appointment since this whole adventure began where they were not grabbed or fondled at all! That is one frustration with this particular diagnosis. Why couldn't I have foot cancer, or maybe ear cancer? I am pretty tired of my boobs being handled so much. It's sort of humiliating. This time, however, I just had to let them hang down as they rolled me into the machine. I've had several MRI's before, so that part was nothing new. If you haven't had the experience, it is very loud. There are lots of 1-4 minute sequences of loud buzzing and/or knocking. Kind of like an artillary battle. My only complaint was that I was in the machine for 45 minutes and my forehead was pressed down on a piece of foam for so long that I actually got a headache. And when I was finally allowed to get up, I couldn't see out of my right eye for awhile. The technician told me the images were good, except there was some motion on the last set. Darn! I have this desire to please authority and I want to be the ideal patient. But I moved! She said it was fine, no need to repeat them.

The scheduling nurse told me last week that there is a 30% call-back rate on these MRI's because they are soo sensitive. That means another biopsy. I didn't get a phone call today so I am hoping my luck carries me through one more day. Then I think I'm clear.

In keeping with my Monday theme of medical procedure followed by pampering, Lisa took me for my very first pedicure. Honestly, parts of it felt like another medical procedure (like when they file off all of the skin on your feet), but overall it was a fun event. And my toenails look fabulous.

I have also started a little ritual of wearing my hospital band for the entire day. I don't know why, maybe just so that I can embrace my journey. At the end of the day I cut it off and save it. For my cancer scrapbook, I suppose. Yeah, like I have time and energy to scrapbook. (Just ask the kids to show you theirs. That's right, they don't exist!)

Just so you know, I did sit the kids down last night and told them about my diagnosis. Frankly, they all took it very well, which I assume is helped by the fact that it is very treatable and I could reassure them I would be ok in the end. The only one to cry was Claire, and that is because she misunderstood me and thought that SHE would have to get a BIOPSY every year starting when she turned 40.

You know what? I don't feel sorry for myself anymore. This experience has sort of been a life-changer, and maybe in a good way. I feel like I'm on vacation from my real life for awhile. People's expectations of me have been way lowered; I sort of get a free pass for awhile. Take some time off of work! Just ask if you need me to watch the kids! We'll cook and clean and whatever you need! And I am allowing myself to be pampered, which is a rarity in my world. I love it! Especially because I'm not really sick.

Actually, the real reason I don't feel sorry for myself is that I am actually grateful. It was caught early. I have the best possible cancer and I know that I will be screened very closely for the rest of my life, so the docs will always be on top of things. Sort of when I had viral meningitis and had an emergency brain CT scan. It came out ok, and although being sick really sucked, I was a bit relieved to know that my brain looked normal. Not everyone can say with confidence that they don't have brain cancer at any given moment. At that time I could.

Another good part about today is that I weighed in at my lowest weight since starting the weight loss group 13 weeks ago. I am just over 2 pounds from my goal. AND my team won the week! Go Team Yellow!