I wish I were still in Hawaii, writing this blog as I drank a beer and listened to the ocean waves crashing onto shore. Instead, I'm doing it from my office while listening to nature music via Pandora internet radio. Not quite the same.
Actually, I love Minnesota but everyone here will readily admit that this was a tough winter. Is the end in sight? I am ready to start planting the garden, mowing the lawn, getting in over my head with another home improvement project.
Last night I took 2 Benadryl and 2 Advil and tried to go to bed at 8 pm. I was so tired I could hardly see straight. Well, it kind of worked; I fell asleep by 10:30. Maybe I am finally back in the Central Time Zone.
I am getting anxious again about the cancer. I'm not worried about dying or anything like that. I am mainly worried because I don't know what to expect with the surgery and radiation. I don't know what meds will be recommended and what the side effects will be. I just don't know, and that is not a position I do well in. Also, I am having crazy emotional swings about it recently. I'm mostly fine but then out of the blue I'll get really anxious and depressed. I know this is all normal. That doesn't mean I have to like it, right? I am glad to have another appointment coming up because that means more information. Good. My mom and I are meeting with the radiation oncologist on Monday. Then the pre-op physical on Wednesday. Then surgery a week from Monday. Finally, things will be moving along.
It's funny how we all react differently to bad or unexpected news, right? Nine years ago my brother's son was born with a severe and rare congenital heart defect. He had surgery when he was about a week old. My brother asked countless questions of the doctors and researched the surgery and the disease for hours. Six months later a friend's daughter was born with the exact same rare heart defect! She and her husband were of course worried and upset, but they didn't want to know the details. I don't think they got on the internet even once. They also had great faith in God and sort of let it be at that. By the way, both kids are doing great.
Well, can you guess which type of person I am? Anyone?
It runs in the family....
ReplyDeleteSorry about all the ups and downs, I know it's tough...happens to everyone that has to go through something like this. You're strong!!!
And yeah, let's go buy some tickets and hit the beach again...that was SWEET. We have to consider ourselves lucky that we had that opportunity, and never take anything for granted...
Love you!!!!