Too many balls in the air

I am a very competitive person and an over-achiever. I admit it. I have been that way for as long as I can remember. It's not necessarily the best quality to have, but it is who I am, and even though Lisa won't play mini-golf with me anymore, I'm ok with myself. It was just a little friendly heckle! Get over it!

So I tend to be competitive when it comes to my free time as well. If I know of someone who works 40 hours a week and is going to school while raising 3 kids and being the Cub Scout leader, I feel the need to one-up that person. I'll work 41 hours a week and work on board certification while raising 4 kids and volunteering in the schools, church, and my kids' sports. So there.

And Lisa and I agree that we want our kids to be busy. You know, to keep them from doing drugs or joining a gang.

But Saturday I drove over 100 miles from soccer to piano to soccer to home to piano and sat through 2 soccer games in the pouring rain, feeding my kids lunch on the road, making my son change from a wet, dirty soccer uniform to a suit and tie in the car. While the stupid ENGINE HOT light kept coming on (yeah, the $267 didn't quite fix that problem, did it?), adding significantly to my stress level. I had kid/transportation duty because Lisa was at a church board retreat for most of the day. See, even she is super busy.

For what? I can't help but wonder. Is this what life, what being a parent is about? Are soccer and piano skills going to make my kids better citizens? Would my (and my kids', for that matter) time be better spent helping the needy, or building houses, or working to save the environment? A hundred years ago, my kids would be working. For real, not "working" on sports skills.

Another question - how can we keep this up? As our kids get older, they enroll in more varied activities. Add the pressure of our work and volunteer duties, and it is just not possible to do it all. We cannot be at two places at once. And it sometimes seems like we are just running from place to place, commitment to commitment for most of our "free" time. And doing a mediocre job at best. We should say no, but we wonder, if we don't do it, who will?

How does the Tiger Mom find the time? I can barely remember to get my kids to practice piano, let alone sit with them for hours each night while they do. Maybe you can't do it all while working full time and raising four kids. Maybe one or the other, but not both. But then it is left to others to pick up the slack, and I'm no slacker.

I do need to chill out. Lisa is pressuring me to get the kids more scheduled this summer and I am really pushing back on that. Last year, we had the boys in soccer and baseball at the same time and it was terrible. I want a life that doesn't involve frantically driving from one practice to another, even if it's only for the summer.

My New Jami rule - one sport per kid at any given time. And no piano lessons this summer. And I'm scaling back on some of my duties. I'm actually taking a couple of days off this summer FOR NO REASON. Yeah, that's right.

An addendum to yesterda'y blog - We bought the Prius! It's a 2005 model with 92,000 miles on it. 24 hours into ownership and we love it so far!