In June I turned 40. A milestone that had the potential to send me into a tailspin of depression. Thankfully, I never got depressed, I just became introspective. I had a couple of goals, one being to lose about ten pounds. I'm not overweight (yet another breast cancer risk), but I wanted to go from the upper end of normal BMI to the lower end. Basically, I wanted to look like Jillian Michaels. It wasn't until December, however, that I got serious about weight loss. That's when I formed the Facebook weight loss group and really started dieting. Eight weeks later I was down 11 pounds and starting to feel pretty good about myself. For some unknown reason, I became introspective again and felt compelled to write Lisa a letter. The letter listed what I felt were my major accomplishments in life, as well as some new goals, both in the short term and the long term. Some of these were personal goals (like getting myself off of sleeping aids), some were professional (getting board certified), and of course, some were really personal and involved our relationship. Lisa LOVES relationship talk! That's probably why she didn't read the letter right away.
On March 5, I gave Lisa the letter (as she was napping, none-the-less) and headed onto our lake to go cross country skiing with the dogs. 30 minutes later I was in the water, having fallen through the ice trying to rescue one of the dogs who had done the same. It was about as close to a near-death experience as I've had in awhile. It all worked out ok (except for Cathy, who tore her meniscus while running down the bike path after receiving my panicked phone call). Two days later I had the second mammogram.
I wonder why I suddenly became so obsessed with the state of my life? Did I intuitively know something bad was going to happen? Normally, a close call is what sets off self-reflection, but I wrote the letter BEFORE I fell through the ice and BEFORE I started getting worried about my breasts! Maybe I'm not giving my intuition enough credit.
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