What's that thing hanging out of his butt???

Don't you hate it when it's slow all day at work and you finally get to leave and just as you start walking out the door the police drive up? Because at my practice, that only means one thing - they have a stray that they need me to examine. And for some reason the police don't feel the need to call ahead to schedule an appointment. 

So, I was supposed to pick up the girls from daycare but now I got to stay late, and for little money to boot. You see, we give the city of Brooklyn Park a hefty 50% discount to evaluate and treat the stray animals they bring by (although the city hasn't found it in its heart to give me a discount on my taxes and fees). This newby police officer was struggling to get what appeared to be a dog out of the back of the squad car. Must be vicious, I thought, as I approached the car, only to find a little 12 week old pitbull puppy. With the biggest rectal prolapse I have ever seen.

What is a rectal prolapse? Well, it's when the rectum inverts on itself and pokes out of the anus. We see it more often in cats than in dogs, and it is definitely more prevalent in younger animals. It is commonly due to chronic straining, say from diarrhea due to parasites or a viral infection. Certain genetic defects, such as a the messed up back end you get in the tail-less Manx cat, can also lead to this problem. The treatment consists of placing the rectum back inside where it belongs and then suturing the anus partially closed for a few weeks so that it can't come back out. In severe cases, the rectum could be damaged and may need to be trimmed. And if none of that works, you may need to go into the abdomen and tack the rectum to the inside body wall so that it will stay in place.

Anyway, in most cases maybe an inch of rectum comes out. In this pup, however, it was at least 6, if not 8 inches. It looked like a long red balloon. I admit I felt a little like a large animal vet as I tried to replace it (don't they often have to do this when a cow prolapes her uterus?). Anyway, I couldn't shove it all back in (for one thing, the pup was straining against my efforts to push it in), so I told the police officer that the next step would be to sedate the dog and suture the anus. With the City Discount, the estimate was $100-150. For a dog that will be going to the pound to wait its five days for an owner that won't show up and then may be euthanized because pitbulls are not so easy to place. I didn't think they would go for it, but the officer called his supervisor and got the ok! Good for the puppy, bad for me because now I wouldn't be able to pick up my daughters as planned.

The procedure actually went really well (be slow, be gentle, and use lots of lube - a mantra that was repeated to our class by many a professor in vet school, as it pertains to all sorts of situations) and within 20 minutes the puppy was awake and no longer had a red balloon thing hanging out of his butt. Because of the severity of the prolapse, I give him a 60:40 chance of his body parts still being where they belong tomorrow when I come into the clinic.

So, anyone want a pitbull puppy?

Appointment 19 - Breast Lump Recheck

It has been exactly six weeks since I saw my surgeon for a mass in my breast. She wasn't too worried about it but she wanted to recheck it in six week. So here we are. I will say that the past six weeks have inched by very slowly. Sort of like my pregnancy, which seemed to last about two years. I have been very patient and, as you may have noticed, I haven't even mentioned it in awhile. But the lump is still there. It hasn't changed much but it hasn't gone away either.

No matter how rich or successful or good-looking you think you are, being a patient for a breast exam is a humbling experience. For one thing, you can dress up all you want, but in the end, there you are, sitting on the sterile exam room table wearing a paper gown. At least my pants looked nice.

So, the doc walks in, apologizes for her cold hands (that's ok, I reply. I could never do your job because my hands are always cold.), and proceeds to check out my boobs. At least this time she found the mass relatively easily. So I'm not crazy, anyway.

I still think it's fibrous tissue, she tells me. Are you at least 99% sure? I ask. Because I can take a 99% chance it's ok. Yes, she replies. But....  let's move up your breast MRI anyway. It looks like it's due in April, but we can shoot for February. In fact, the Piper Breast Center is opening a new breast MRI unit at Westhealth (where I was for my appointment) on February 1st. Sweet! I said. I can be their first patient!

So, that's the plan. I'm waiting to hear from the Brand New Westhealth Piper Center Breast MRI people to get scheduled.

I'll keep you posted. Because I know you are dying know all about my breast status.

Happy new year?

OK. Fine. I've had a few drinks (it is New Years Eve after all) and I'm not really sure what I am planning to say here. But since we are at precipice of a new year, I feel like I should say something.

I've been blogging for about 9 months. It was an almost daily occurrence early on, but I sort of ran out of things to say after awhile. And time. I don't have enough time to formulate and write a good blog every day. A blog is sort of like a diary, except I can't say EVERYTHING I feel because anyone can read it. But I say most of what I feel.

I've come to realize that I am a stress case. I thrive on stress but it also, well, stresses me out. And then I start to think about and process all of the stressors and it continues to build. So having an outlet is helpful for me.

One thing I'd like to interject here is that I am REALLY enjoying the buzz from the 3-4 Moscow mules I had tonight. Or whatever they're called. And it's almost midnight and I'm still awake!

What has 2011 meant for me? What will 2012 bring? 2011 was a difficult year and I'm glad to bid it goodbye. So, goodbye, 2011. I hope that 2012 is a better year. My goal for the coming year are to work on being a better parent, get ABVP certified, do some more triathlons (it's been a few years), and maybe complete another marathon. Maybe.

But mostly I would like my sanity back. I know it seems weird to say that, but there are times when I really feel lost. I like to have control over things and lately there is much that is out of my control. I don't know what will change it all, or if I will ever regain control, but I will continue to try. Or, maybe I have to accept the loss of control. That's ok too as long as I feel ok. Yes, I do realize that this paragraph is not very well written.

Don't get me wrong, I am fine. I just hope to be better in 2012. I hope I am healthy. I hope to improve on the way I relate to people. I hope that my business does well. I hope that I stop freaking out about doing spays. I hope that I give more than I take. I hope to become more fit. I hope that I have fun. I hope that I don't completely f**k up my kids. I hope to let go of the anger that I feel too often. I hope to communicate better. I hope I am grateful.

And I hope that your 2012 is all that you want it to be as well.