Dog Spays Revisited

Two years ago I posted about my newly acquired dog spay phobia. Since outing myself to the veterinary community, I have had quite a few vets from all around the country contacting me with the same problem. So I know that I am not alone. I have received many descriptions of the techniques (surgical and mental) that vets have used to cope with spay problems. Many get stressed out weeks in advance if they see a dog spay on the appointment schedule. Some (and I think these are the smart people) just stopped doing them. Life is too short - give the job to someone who actually enjoys it.

I tell you, I am almost to that point. But I am not quite ready to let the measly dog spay win over my psyche. I am a very confident surgeon. In fact, I didn't bat an eye yesterday while removing a 3.5 pound cancerous spleen from a 100 pound dog who had 3 LITERS of blood in his abdomen and was hemorrhaging through most of the surgery. Why can't I take out a little uterus without having a panic attack?

What have I done to combat the problem? Well, I have slowed down and become very VERY diligent when doing a dog spay. Every ligature gets triple checked. I don't break down any connective tissue that might have even the tiniest of vessels, because they are the ones that sneak up on you a few minutes later when you're staring at an abdomen pooling with blood and you have to go find the source. I meditate to calm myself. I visualize success. And I take drugs. Yes, I have a prescription of clonazepam that I use for situations like this. It works great. But still... isn't there something wrong with continuing to do a procedure for which I have to medicate away my anxiety?

I am trying one last thing. On Saturday, I leave for a six day stint volunteering with the Humane Society's Rural Area Veterinary Service program, where I will be part of a team of 6-7 vets and 20 or so support staff and vet students who provide free veterinary care on a reservation in South Dakota. I have been promised long work days, second world country medical conditions and facilities, a comfy dorm room at night, and lots and lots of spays. Yes, I am going to flood this anxiety away. Or die of a heart attack trying.

More to come as I go through this adventure over the next week. Assuming I have internet access.