It started last fall. No, actually, about 3 years ago. My physician's assistant told me that it was time to get a baseline mammogram. You know, sometime before I hit forty. Whatever. I had a few years to do it. I had no risk factors. I don't even think I have a third cousin twice removed with breast cancer, let alone a close relative. And, frankly, my boobs aren't very big, so I find it hard to believe they would even support the growth of cancer! So every year I would diligently go in for my Pap and physical and my PA would write an order for a baseline mammogram, and it would end up on the floor of my car somewhere. Last fall, I went in for my physical, but now I was 40 so she sort of scolded me. It's no longer a baseline mammogram. Now it's a screening one! Whatever. But I have no risk factors! I said. What about the study that just came out that showed that annual mammograms on people between 40-50 may not be justified! I cried. You are precisely the reason these screening mammograms should be done, she replied. They can pick up cancer before you would ever feel a lump. Whatever.
Funny thing is, I visited a friend of mine the day she died of breast cancer two years ago. She was young, only 42. And since that day I would occasionally think about my breasts possibly betraying me. Like maybe there was cancer somewhere in there. But I still I didn't get the damned mammogram.
However, I have a good friend, Cathy, who found out that I had yet to be mammogrammed and started to harass me almost daily. She would call, Did you get your mammogram? Text, Make that appointment yet? Leave messages at work, Your neighbor just wanted to remind you to make your appointment. I still resisted, but she was wearing me down. Why did I resist? Why did I willingly open my legs every year so that my cervix could be scraped, but not go in for a quick boob squish? I really don't know.
Well, in January I started a Facebook weight loss group. The players were divided into teams and were scored each week based on percent weight loss and also on how they performed in challenges. Cathy, who I am sure was getting pretty sick of pestering me, finally suggested that I make one of the challenges a preventative health challenge. Sure, I said, and made it so. Each player had to be caught up on whatever recommended health care they needed by the end of April. Mammo, Pap, prostate exam, dental cleaning, colonoscopy, etc. And being the competitive person I am, there was no way I wouldn't finally do the dreaded mammogram. I think Cathy knew this.
On February 28 I went to my doctor to discuss my elbow tendititis and to get him to prescribe an elbow MRI. You know, he said, you can get your mammogram at the same time. Fine. I went downstairs to schedule my imaging appointment and they said I could get right in! Wow! So I took off my shirt, put on a heated hospital gown, wiped off my deodorant with a baby wipe, and had my boobs squished a little. Remember, they're not very big, so it was a little challenging to get the right view, but the radiology tech was very nice and helpful, even as she had me mash my face up against the machine in order to place as much of my boob as possible on the table. Good times.
When it was done, the tech warned me that about 20% of first time mammograms get called back, and not to panic if I received that call. She also showed me the images and I thought they looked just fabulous. I practically skipped out of the building, I was so giddy. Done! Check that off my list! I called Cathy to tell her the good news. She almost fell off her chair, she was so surprised. I drove home in such a state of euphoria that I didn't notice the squad car pull up behind me into my driveway. WTH? Apparently I was speeding and apparently I didn't fully stop at a stop sign and apparently he followed me for blocks and I still didn't notice! He even asked if I was a little distracted. I didn't have the nerve to tell him that I was just so damned excited that I finally got my mammogram done. I'm not sure he would have understood. The ticket, by the way, was $145.
